April 4

John 11:28-44

And when he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth.” ~ John 11:43 A

Calling Out

I am a village of sorrows. A family mourning. A population of darkness.

Burned by loss, I see the teacher come consoling.

“If you had been here, Lord. If only . . .”

I would have been better, tried harder, done more.

You are troubled in spirit. My death is your loss too.

Oh, see how you love!

Your eyes on the Father, you pray; I wallow.

“Come forth!” you cry.

And I in my shabby shroud am bound up, not free, but dead in sin.

“Come forth!” you call.

I am a village of travail, a family of sorrows, a crowd of blame

Tangled in poor choices, bad decisions.

Call me out, Lord! From disappointment and daunted expectations.

Call me out of the shadow of Self into the Whole that is you.

“Come forth,” you cry.

See how desperately I refuse to need you?

Yet here at the tomb, your tears mingle with mine.

See how you love?

Costumed in funereal tatters, in loose bravado I hide,

Hoping the dark will cover the rot of self-reliance.

I fold in on myself -- entombed in Self. Oh, call me out, Lord!

Reignite that barely burning ember that blinks hidden and deep.

Oh, see how you love!

Call me out, Lord! Call me forth that I may live.

Unbind the sinner! Embrace the corpse and set me free!

And Jesus cries, “Come forth!”

Oh, sweet Lord . . . see how you love?

Rebecca Ballard Jennings

St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church

Wimberley, Texas