March 4

John 2:23-3:15

“I surrender.”

Have you ever said that to anyone? It’s not the easiest thing to say, is it? By definition, “surrender” means “to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another.” Surrender means giving up control, and no one wants to do that. As hard as it is to say to a person, how hard is it to say to God? 

Last year, I hit emotional rock bottom, and that is not a pretty place to be. And when I thought I was as low as I could be, I was pushed even further into the dark, murky mire that threatened to suffocate me. See, for 34 years I fought to keep control of my mind, my heart and my soul, when I really should have given up the struggle long ago. But I didn’t know what it took.  

On a Sunday in January 2008 when I was about to inhale the thickest sludge of emotional muck, I gave up. As I sat alone by Boerne Lake, I sobbed aloud, “God, I can’t do this on my own. Please help me. I need your help. I give up. I can’t get through this on my own. I surrender to you, Lord.”  That was the first time in my life those words ever escaped my lips. And once they did, life instantly took a dramatic turn.  

The breeze off the lake kicked up and dried my tears. I suddenly got tired of sitting on the bank and got up to go home and start living again. I felt strangely ready to move forward, anxious to go see what would happen next. And life changed from that moment forward.  

Within hours, a strange happiness was back inside me. Hope bubbled up like a spring that was clogged for so long and suddenly cleared. After so long in the dark, I felt light. I knew everything was going to be fine. I was suddenly excited about life.  

Where did that come from? It came from surrendering to God. God is waiting for us to surrender to Him. He actually wants to bear our burdens for us. He is waiting to yank us out of the muck and mire and clear our hearts and minds. All we have to do is ask for His help, to say to Him, “I surrender.”  

Krysta McDaniel

St. Helena’s Episcopal Church

Boerne, Texas